Women teachers (courtesy of USAID)

This article is a call to men and women in leadership roles to make room for more women at the table of decision-making. It is not a complaint against men because honestly speaking, things just work better when men and women, husbands and wives, and dads and moms work together – everyone benefits from a partnership for peace.

Women are half of our society; some statistics calculate that females are more than half of the human beings alive today. Logic would say women then should be involved in decisions that concern at least half of society. On top of that, in most societies women are the primary educators of all children.Their influence on the children they raise affects and shapes the world these children grow up in and determines how peaceful the world will be. Also, women and children suffer more from the scourge of war.

For these three reasons alone society should be demanding that women play a greater role in the decision making that engenders peace on every level of society.

Men and women making decisions together will produce a healthier, happier family, society, nation and world. It is time that the patterns of historical domination and repression of women are replaced by a wiser paradigm that ensures the sharing of the decision making process on all levels of society. But it needs men to help do it. Women are for the most part not as aggressive as men.

Indira Gandhi, former Prime Minister of India

Women don’t naturally rush up to the front pushing others aside to lead or “take over the reins”. They may be weaker physically and at times weaker emotionally than men. They do not resort to violence or oppression as often as men. But we see more and more women “acting like men” to try to level the playing field of opportunity for women. Antagonism reigns in the battle of the sexes. This is not the way to make peace and build a better society. Women are needed as leaders and decision makers because their unique talents are essential in creating peace as a balance to the strengths of men.

The best way to create peace on every level of society is simply to make room at the front of the line, make room for women at the table and give their ideas the same time, interest, importance and value as that of men. But they need to be encouraged and invited.

Children know they can play their parents off of each other until one parent says, “Let me talk to your mother / father about this.” Unity within the family reduces struggle and increases the chance for a harmonious resolution of disagreements. It also shows that the opinions of both parents are valuable and necessary to create peace and happiness.

Boys seeing their father respect their mother and sisters will become men who do the same in their own families and in society as well. Girls who see their father respect their mother and sisters will have confidence to become good women and lead them to find good husbands who share their father’s standard of love. Mothers should also treat the father of their children with the same standard of love and respect, patterning the best behavior of a woman and mother.

Healthier families will follow. Children are shaped by the quality of love and respect they experience in their family. The opposite will produce a much less pleasing and less peaceful result that could have negative repercussions on society. News stories of the day lend proof to this assertion.

Peace making begins in and is learned in the home. The role of the mother is the essential element in a peaceful family. Women as mothers naturally find ways to reconcile divided children, people and groups based on keeping peace in the home. They tend to listen more and encourage resolution between the children that will last and heal the hearts of those that were hurt. Apologies and forgiveness are high on the list of a mother’s tools for creating peace.

Woman Judge in Botswana

The art of mediation - in place of costly legal cases to solve disputes - was pioneered by a number of women (and men). Just as mothers listen carefully to all sides of their children’s arguments, mediators call for solutions created by the parties themselves through guiding them to suggest a solution that is acceptable to both sides. When the parties can come up with a mutually acceptable solution they feel in control of the outcome, with a sense of ownership and satisfaction, as opposed to an imposed resolution by an expensive legal case where the parties may feel unfairly treated, thus extending the animosity that brought them to mediation. But by listening carefully to the needs and wishes of the parties in dispute, mediation gives the resolution of the conflict to the parties involved and often diminishes or resolves the negative emotions involved in their dispute.

Women work in groups more harmoniously often sharing the work needing to be done. Women are less competitive than men, which allows them to work together more easily for the common good. Many times women often volunteer without being asked in support of another. How many men have said to their wife, “If you needed my help you should have asked for it?”

Mothers are often motivated by a passionate desire to protect and care for their children and not by a desire to attain power or position. A heartfelt plea with tears can move even the hardest of hearts. And there is validity in a mother’s efforts that needs no explanation. Nearly everyone has a protective mother. Tears are more powerful than brute force.

WFWP-sponsored Bridge of Peace ceremony
between Israelis and Palestinians

Women build bridges to others by extending themselves into new areas and through this example draw others to reach out “to meet halfway”. Barriers of race, religion, nationality and social position melt when one mother’s heart reaches out to help another. Just as women tend to ask for directions more often than men they also ask for help and can receive it more easily. Imagine what would happen at the negotiating table if one side simply said, “How can we help you?” and then found ways to alleviate the suffering of the other.

Women are trusted more than men because they are seen as the weaker sex and thus less threatening in many situations.

In business women have been moving toward using what author Jacqueline Hornor Plumez, calls “Mother Power” or maternal characteristics in management positions in her book by the same name:

"These qualities were recently recognized in a study of almost twenty-five hundred managers in four hundred organizations in nineteen states, it found that women are perceived by their coworkers – both male and female – as better managers than their male counterparts. The author of the study says that women managers effectively use softer skills such as communication, feedback and empowering other employees. They are also skilled in ‘such areas as decisiveness, planning and setting standards.’ Male managers, he found, ‘still rely on a more autocratic style, emphasizing individual accomplishment, and competition".

Women are more active in preventing and rebuilding from conflict. Mothers wish their children to be safe at all times. War often takes the husbands and sons away into the conflict. The women are then left to take care of both the jobs of the women and the men. And at times women are raped in a conflict. Thus women are more willing to sacrifice to avoid fighting and war and are quicker to rebuild so their families can survive.

From The Initiative for Inclusive Security in an article entitled “The Vital Role of Women in Peace Building” a number of remarkable women are noted who responded with positive actions to rebuild their societies after war:

• Aloisea Inyumba created programs to bury the dead and find homes for more then 300,000 orphans in Rwanda.

• Nanda Pok created Women for Prosperity to train women to participate in government in Cambodia.

• Luz Mendez, the sole woman negotiator brought consensus among the warring parties in Guatemala by bringing the concerns of women into the peace process.

• Raja Habib, an obstetrician, expanded her practice during the dangerous war in Iraq and created organizations to help women; she was named to the Iraqi Governing Council.

• Vjosa Dobruna collected evidence from the massacres in Kosovo at the risk of her life, which led the UN to choose her for restructuring Kosovo, and is the minister responsible for rebuilding democracy.

• Israeli and Palestinian women like Naomi Chazan and Sumaya Farhat-Naser created Jerusalem Link, an umbrella group of women who present a joint vision for peace.

Women all over the world are joining together to bring their children home, resolve conflicts and heal the society toward creating a lasting peace. But these efforts are grassroots and often must deal with the obstacles that governments and some men, create.

It is imperative that women be invited to the decision making table to bring many of their unique and essential mothering tools to more efficiently and quickly create lasting peace for every member of humanity.

Yet not all women have the tools to be peacemakers. Many are too wounded, fearful and unconfident to help create peace. Many are too bitter and broken to be part of the solution. The tools of a “Mother’s Heart for Peace” need to be fostered, encouraged and promoted. Those women who can use their intrinsic qualities for peace building on a broader plain should be encouraged and invited forward to share the decision making process with capable and wise men together for the benefit of all.

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